Brick Wall, Jellyfish, or Backbone: What Type of Parent Are You?

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Brick Wall, Jellyfish, or Backbone: What Type of Parent Are You?
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Many parents struggle to find a healthy balance between routine and fun, schedule and independence. The struggle, in many cases, traces back to parenting style.

, and children who are inconsistent in their behaviors need them even more. If a child who feels like a cue ball caroming around on a pool table has to live in a family where meals are haphazard, rules are inconsistently enforced, and events arise without warning, she’s likely to bounce off the table.

A primary responsibility for parents and teachers of kids who have behavior difficulties is to provide a safe and protected space at home and at school, an environment with consistent rules, regular routines, and efficient transitions to clear a steady path through the day. If your child’s life has been unsettled, and/or rules have been inconsistently enforced, she may initially respond to “new consistency” with irritation or anger. However, when consistency is accompanied by respect and caring for your child, you’re providing her with the backbone she’ll need to make her way in the world as an adult.1. See that your child gets up about the same time every morning, has regularly scheduled meals, and goes to bed about the same time every evening.

2. Create a daily and/or weekly calendar with your child, on which he writes or draws in events that are coming up. Keep the calendar in the child’s bedroom, where he can see it. A number of computer apps—3. When unpredictable events come up, prepare your child with a few words: “Today, when I pick you up at school, we won’t be going home. We’re going to the airport to welcome Grandma for a visit.

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