'All I heard was how important it was for the baby. What about the mother?'
I knew there was always the possibility that I could have supply problems or perhaps my baby wouldn’t latch, but I still did all the preparation. I took a breastfeeding class, practiced the different holds using baby dolls, and researched breast pumps.
Lucky him, because I absolutely hated it. I had a painful letdown — each time he latched it felt like I was dipping my already-raw nipple into a pencil sharpener — and I saw a lactation consultant weekly to try and help ease the pain. Also, he ate aWe didn’t go longer than 90 minutes between feedings some days, and he wouldn’t take a pumped bottle. It was all me, all the time.
. And he offered to go to the store to get formula, but we realized we knew nothing about it. The differences between the brands and types, how much or how often to feed. We’d only been prepared to breastfeed.. Unfortunately, that was also the day he was diagnosed with acid reflux and we wereI didn’t realize it at the time, but I was also in the midst of what would be a long battle withand continuing on my breastfeeding journey didn’t help that — in fact, it fed my depression.
Eventually it got easier. Second nature. I became okay with it, though I also would have been okay if I’d stopped. And I know that my mental health would have been better if I’d stopped.Now that I’m on the side, I see another layer to breastfeeding. It’s a major factor that can affect a mother’s mental health, and that doesn’t seem to be taken into consideration. We know the benefits of breastmilk and breastfeeding for a baby. But it’s time we also value how it impacts mothers.
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