A reader describes feeling envious and needing to bring others down to her level, stemming from childhood experiences with her father's belittling behavior. She seeks advice on breaking this pattern.
Asking Eric: How do I break a pattern of feeling low and needing to bring someone down to my level?During a recent family visit, I spent a lot of time hearing about grown kids’ accomplishments. I asked questions and was a good listener. At one point, my husband read a story he’d written, and the family praised his efforts to the moon.I suppose I was subconsciously annoyed that my husband got so much praise and attention.
How do I move past this pattern? I know that awareness of the issue isn’t enough, but I’m not sure what to do next. Any advice you have to help me break free of this childhood issue would be gratefully accepted and adopted.DEAR CHANGE: As a writer, you well know that a character is often tripped up by the flaws that they’re unaware of and unwilling to change. But you aren’t a fictional character, and you’ve made two fantastic first steps by recognizing the issue and deciding to switch courses.
Look into a writer’s group, locally or online. We all need praise, encouragement . Being in the company of other writers will help you right-size your expectations of your family and also, hopefully help you feel seen.
Personal Growth CHILDHOOD TRAUMA EMOTIONAL HEALTH RELATIONSHIPS SELF-AWARENESS COPING MECHANISMS
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