+34
Brad Pitt is going through a lot. He’s 56, he’s out of work, he’s adrift somewhere in Malibu. He’s sometimes dating Alia Shawkat, except when he isn’t, but she still bikes to his house constantly. It’s confusing stuff—especially for him! No wonder he’s sitting around, looking at motorcycles, wishing he could be out on the open road with the wind in his sun-damaged, overly long hair. As is common of pictures concerning Angelina Jolie’s somewhat famous ex-husband, though, the photos were too expensive for me to afford. I have interpreted them with the above art and will now describe them to you.\n
, but she still bikes to his house constantly. It’s confusing stuff—especially for him! No wonder he’s sitting around, looking at motorcycles, wishing he could be out on the open road with the wind in his sun-damaged, overly long hair.
As is common of pictures concerning Angelina Jolie’s somewhat famous ex-husband, though, the photos were too expensive for me to afford. I have interpreted them with the above art and will now describe them to you.On Tuesday, prying paparazzi snapped photos of ole Brad checking out Flea’s motorcycle, somewhere in Malibu. Who knows why he was hanging out with a member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but something tells me it’s because Sat Hari Khalsa, with whom he was photographed back in 2019, spentpumping the band full of ozone. Anyway, the two were checking out what was presumably Flea’s motorcycle, a chrome-wrapped BMW with big honking wheels and a shiny, beetle blue exterior. However, Brad was not his expectably suave self. His jeans had holes large enough to fit his whole body through, while his shirt looked wrinkled and worn. His hair, most noticeably, was sun-damaged and looked as if he had been dyeing it at home. This is not to judge! We have to celebrate our former heartthrobs because of expectations put on them by toxic masculinity—or something like that. Really, it’s just nice to see he’s letting it all hang loose like the rest of us.Now, I’ve taken a few artistic liberties with the photo. Flea and Pitt were standing in front of the actor’s Malibu house, from what I could tell, but it’s right on the beach, which is a much nicer backdrop! Also, the sun is not anthropomorphic. But if it were, it’s cheerful brightness would contrast the frown painted broadly across Pitt’s face. I’m sure Alia Shawkat was on his mind, with all that flitting in and out of his public life these last few months of social isolation. Maybe he’s considering a motorcycle of his own to impress her with! Girls love that stuff, allegedly.
Scratch the next story
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News: You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Ryan Murphy shares idea for 'film Twitter' 'Glee' reboot with Timothée Chalamet, Brad Pitt, and more'Glee' co-creator Ryan Murphy shared a funny reboot idea featuring social media's favorite actors including Timothée Chalamet, Brad Pitt, Florence Pugh, Zendaya, and more.
Read more »
Brad Keselowski holds off Jimmie Johnson in OT to win Coca-Cola 600 in NASCAR's longest raceBrad Keselowski earned his first win of the 2020 season and the 31st of his career, while extending Jimmie Johnson's winless streak to 102 races.
Read more »
Jennifer Aniston Wants Brad Pitt To Quit Playing Games?Does Jennifer Aniston really want Brad Pitt to “quit playing games” with her and Alia Shawkat? That’s what one tabloid is claiming this week in yet another ridiculous article. Gossip Cop can set the record straight.
Read more »
Brad Pitt 'romantically linked to Aussie TV host who denies dating Tom Cruise'Brad Pitt has been linked to red carpet reporter Renee Bargh who flirted with the Hollywood actor at the SAG Awards but denied she has dated Mission: Impossible star
Read more »