'Barbie', Pink and Blue, and the Gendering of Emotion
, validation, and connectedness. Thus, naming and harnessing the power of emotional intelligence provides all children with the skillset to connect.For parents, guardians, and any stakeholder in a child's life, we have a few tips: 1.
Take advantage of everyday opportunities to challenge gender assumptions. Whether you are watching TV, on social media, or at the dinner table with your child, you can speak up and disrupt the cycle of unhealthy stereotypes they may otherwise believe. Call out gender biases whenever you see them and call2. Honor your emotions and your child's. Ask your child how they feel often and validate their emotions. If they are sad or disappointed, be curious about their feelings rather than encouraging them to change their emotion or"suck it up." Welcome all of your child’s emotions openly and without judgment—they will learn from your reaction. 3. It starts with you: Model the skillful use of emotional intelligence. Emotions hold important pieces of data that guide the decisions we make, the people we approach, and the way we respond to daily setbacks or opportunities. Whether you are a parent, mentor, or other stakeholder in the life of a boy, the most important way they can learn to recognize, understand and regulate their emotions is by watching you do the same. We recommend using the How We Feel app, guided by research at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.Barbie evolved through the years. To challenge stereotypes that the doll once reinforced, she became much more than her pink skirts and ponytail; she became a doctor, astronaut, and presidential candidate. Now, what about Ken? Everyone has been crippled by stereotypes and patriarchal fiction that enforce a false equation: Less emotion and more suppression equate to worth and success. As psychologist Eric FitzMedrud explains, “Women have articulated many new ways to be a woman. Men have yet to embrace a multifaceted model of manhood.”investing in the success of every aspect of their lives; the lives of the fathers, guardians, and mentors many of them may become and all those they will share spaces with.Way, Niobe Deep Secrets: Boys Friendships and The Crisis of Connection. Cambridge, MA. Harvard University Press.
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