Author Kelly I. Hitchcock offers romance and petty theft in new book Community Klepto.
If you've never stolen anything before, you may be under the misconception that stealing is hard – if not to do, per se, then to get away with. We operate within a social panopticon, more so now than perhaps at any other point in human history. Whether organic or electronic, eyes and ears are everywhere, and if the average true-crime documentary is to be believed, we humans are little more than fleshy piles of soon-to-be-shed DNA evidence.
First, a confession: I had a bit of a shoplifting habit back in high school. Nothing serious – I never got in trouble with the cops or even a store manager, and the most expensive item I ever took was a $40 fedora from Fred Meyer – but it was a pretty steady habit for several years before I grew out of it, so in some ways I was predestined to find Ann highly relatable.
A hypercritical but ever-distant observer of others, Ann's self-doubt colors her view of everything around her, bleeding over onto everyone who crosses her path. It's a catch-22 that even Ann recognizes:"Of course, it's hard for me to have faith in the innate morality of anyone else when I'm the one who's watching them leave their crap unprotected so I can take it home with me. Anyone could just walk up and take it, but I actually do.
is a swift read, but don't let its digestibility fool you. Ann's world is one you can chew on again and again without losing its flavor; if anything, repeat tastings – like a fine wine or one of Willy Wonka's Everlasting Gobstoppers – reveal brand-new flavors to savor. The cherry on top of it all? Ann's judgmental inner monologue is absolutely hilarious.
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