Born in 1955, former chief director in the Presidency Mbangiseni Dzivhani’s memoir recounts her experiences as a widow, which she describes as ‘oppressive, humiliating and shameful’, as well as how she broke free and found her independence and voice.
, starts with an eerily violent prologue in which Dzivhani gives an account of an old woman launching herself on her and clawing at her clothes with “ragged nails”, digging into her flesh, before she realises it is a dream and asks: “For how long would I carry the people who had done this inside of me… Why could I still not free myself of their power after all these years?”
In Meadowlands she grew up among Tsonga people and theirs was the language in which she then did most of her schooling. This first introduction to Tsonga people was a precursor to her falling in love with and marrying a Tsonga man. This is when Dzivhani takes the reader through her torturous experience as a widow, as a result of what she describes as cruel cultural practices. The book does not make much reference to the adherence by her or her husband’s family to Venda and Tsonga cultural practices until she becomes a widow. What is clear, however, is that both families seem to subscribe to Christianity.
Most notably, Dzivhani describes the pain she was still in after she had just given birth and being made to stay in the room with no access to the outside world nor help to ease that pain. She gives an account of her confusion and being stripped of her agency and family as she went through the widow’s mourning period and how she had no say over her husband’s funeral proceedings.
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