There was originally a much darker meaning behind BillieEilish’s 'Everything I Wanted'
Eilish got inspiration for the song a year prior, when she had a dream about taking her own life. When she took the idea to her brother, he became uncomfortable with the worrying topic. “We had this big argument,” she told the publication, “Because I admitted something that I was, uh. It wasn’t a physical thing I was admitting. I don’t know how to put it without actually saying it, and I don’t want to actually say it.
The article also touched on Eilish's longtime depression, which sparked when she ruptured the growth plate in her hip and was forced to quit dancing, an activity she wholeheartedly enjoyed. When she achieved fame, she felt a bit ill-equipped to deal with the negative sides of it."I had to quit the choir, and I lost all my friends, then I didn’t want to do drugs, and I lost all my other friends because they did,” she explained. “Then I had kind of no one.
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