Relationship experts weigh in on the sensitive topic of breaking up before or after Valentine's Day, exploring the emotional and social implications of each timing.
Breaking up is always tough, but doing so around Valentine's Day , a holiday centered around love, can feel especially cruel. Or is it? February is often seen as the month of love, yet many couples choose to separate around Valentine's Day . Kiana Shelton, a therapist at Mindpath Health in Texas, notes this trend. Valentine's Day , with its chocolates, roses, and romantic dinners, can create significant social pressure to showcase romantic affection.
These gestures may feel disingenuous for someone already contemplating an end to the relationship. Additionally, it's a time when many individuals reflect on their New Year's resolutions, which might include improving their romantic relationships. So, is it kinder to break up before Valentine's Day or to persist until after the holiday festivities have passed? Relationship experts offer contrasting perspectives on the optimal timing for a breakup: before or after the holiday.Breaking up before Valentine's Day often involves careful consideration rather than a spontaneous decision, according to Dr. Morgan Cope, an assistant professor of psychology at Centre College in Kentucky who specializes in the intersection of self and romantic relationships. While ending a relationship before the holiday might seem heartless, she argues that there's never truly a good time to break up except now. There will always be another holiday, birthday, or other reason to prolong a relationship that has run its course. Spending Valentine's Day with someone you no longer have romantic feelings for can be emotionally distressing. Imagine selecting a gift or going out to dinner when you genuinely don't want to be there, engaging in physical intimacy with someone you no longer desire to be with, Cope explains. Breakups are inherently difficult, but you shouldn't make it any harder on yourself or your partner by forcing a connection that's no longer meant to be. Social media has amplified Valentine's Day into a performative spectacle, creating a breeding ground for comparison and distorted perceptions of what it means to demonstrate love for one's partner, according to Shelton. There's immense pressure to showcase public displays of affection, such as purchasing jewelry or presenting roses wrapped in money, in an attempt to compete with what others are posting about their partners. Expectations for extravagant gifts and expensive dinners might lead individuals to reevaluate the value of investing time and money in a new relationship or one that appears to be heading nowhere. By ending the relationship before Valentine's Day, Cope suggests individuals can avoid the obligation of planning a romantic evening that feels forced and insincere. You want to be truthful and authentic to your partner, which means not expending emotional and financial resources into a grand celebration, she argues. She contends that breaking up might surprise your partner because celebrating the holiday might lead them to believe the relationship is more secure than it actually is, resulting in confusion and potential resentment. Cope recommends giving yourself at least a week before the holiday to end the relationship. While it will still be a challenging conversation, it allows each person time to process the breakup and make alternative plans for Valentine's Day with friends and family.
Breakup Valentine's Day Relationship Advice Timing Social Pressure
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