Summer is no time for getting down about getting down. Let Dr Carol Queen help you get back up!
I've heard it and I’ll bet you have, too: someone minimizes a bad sexual encounter by saying “It’s just sex”—as if their definition of sex easily accommodates experiences that, honestly, most of us would rather not have. Bad sex comes in so many varieties. Let’s look at some and see if we can flip the script.
ADVERTISEMENT Do you find yourself never being interested in sex? Maybe start looking at your sexuality from a different perspective. Is it possible you’re on the asexual spectrum? Do you have unresolved trauma? Is a therapist what you need? Some people who experience a reduced libido are dealing with a medical issue like depression or a response to SSRIs or hormonal birth control. If you think this is the case for you, consult with a medical professional.Arousal is the on-ramp to orgasm.
Sex without enough communication By communicating your likes and dislikes, you can help create an atmosphere where you and your partner may feel more comfortable—or at least knowledgeable—about your wants and desires. If you’re not having fun, pleasurable sex, there’s not only a lot to talk about—there’s also a lot to learn!
ADVERTISEMENT When your sex partner isn’t invested in your pleasure This might be an uninformed partner or a selfish one, a drunk one or a stressed-out one. There are worse kinds of sex, but this is a good reason to get up and leave.
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