Advice from R. Eric Thomas.
By R. Eric ThomasI’m in my late 50s, my husband is in his early 70s. While he’s always been incredibly intelligent, he has also always had a very poor memory. We believe he might also have ADHD.
I’ve gotten help for my own anxiety about this and feel like I’m handling that part of it much better. But I still find myself frustrated and impatient when we set up procedures or tools or lists or whiteboards or that are intended to help him, and he either forgets to use them or delusionally believes himself capable of remembering without them.
Your anxiety and frustration aren’t something that you should feel ashamed of, but they aren’t going to be effective catalysts to positively change in your relationship. Choose one small part of this seemingly insurmountable constellation of troubles and make a plan to chip away at it. If it’s your isolation you want to address, make a goal of meeting one neighbor a week, for instance.You’ve experienced a lot of upheaval in the past year. It will take time to get your bearings. Challenge yourself with manageable goals but make sure you also celebrate your wins, too.: I cried when I learned that Amy Dickinson was leaving her advice column.
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