I don’t know how I’ll feel holding this baby and calling him by my son’s name. It still hurts .
My daughter is having her fourth child. She wants to name him after her brother who died of suicide three years ago. I’m not sure I’m ready for that but everyone says let her commemorate her brother. I don’t know how I’ll feel holding this baby and calling him by my son’s name. It still hurts and I cry when I think about him. I don’t want that feeling passed to my grandson unintentionally.I’m so sorry for the loss you’re enduring. Grief’s shadow is always longer than we think it will be.
Asking her to choose another name for her son won’t solve anything for either of you but see if you can come up with a nickname that you can call him. Ask for her help and blessing in this. Maybe it’s his middle name or maybe it’s something else altogether. You and your daughter can create something special that holds space for your grief while making room for the love you’ll have for your grandson.
After a short time, she will retreat to her phone. I will try to continue a conversation, but I will get short answers and no attempt at real participation. We have a great marriage, and communication is not an issue, nor is phone use a problem during other moments. I’ve accepted my situation. Because I’ve decided against an implant, I’ve stopped seeking any romantic relationships. For years I’ve been questioned why I stopped dating or seeking a new relationship. I’ve even been asked if I’m gay, which I’m not. Many of these questions come from longtime friends or their wives. I’m not sure how to respond without sharing the details of my situation. I wish to be able to respond in a polite manner that will end the questions and speculation.
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