The author discusses how their friendship with a woman named Jean, who is deeply religious, has become strained. They feel judged by Jean's faith and find their conversations centered around their differences. They ask for advice on how to navigate this situation and maintain the friendship.
My mother became a Christian. This is important because, as she went deeper into her Christianity, she made friends who shared her beliefs.
She’s a sweet person but I’ve come to feel like I’m a project of hers rather than a friend. Can you suggest a way forward?Your beliefs aren’t something she needs to accept. They are simply a fact for you. And she’s not in a position to decide whose faith is valid. Going forward, you should both think about what the foundation of the next phase of your friendship can be.
Talk to her about this. This shouldn’t be on you alone. Tell her that the conversations about differences, or even about faith in general, aren’t working for you. Ask her what she thinks your positive connection points are and then decide if you agree.When our son died in an accident in 2006, we heard from exactly one of his friends, and none of ours. Losing our son was bad enough, but we were crushed that no one seemed to care.
But all this happened several years ago, and I have had a lot of time to digest it. I have come to the conclusion that it is not a lack of compassion that keeps people from expressing sympathy over the death of a loved one, but rather not knowing what to say or how to say it. Death makes people uncomfortable, and people deal with it in their own way. We never know exactly how others process personal losses, and facing this uncertainty, we do nothing, afraid we might say or do the wrong thing.Harriette Cole: How do I keep from being terrified by this interview?: I’m really impressed by the perspective you have on this and by the compassion you’ve been able to extend to others.
FRIENDSHIP COMMUNICATION RELIGION ENVY JUDGEMENT
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