Asking Eric: I’m newly engaged, but don’t like how people are reacting

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Asking Eric: I’m newly engaged, but don’t like how people are reacting
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In today's Asking Eric column, R. Eric Thomas responds to someone who is newly engaged and doesn't want to be called 'cute.'

In today's Asking Eric column, R. Eric Thomas responds to someone who is newly engaged and doesn't want to be called "cute."Quite a few of my friends have responded to the news with: how cute! Somehow the fact that we have fallen in love and plan to marry is “cute.”

I find this infantilizing, as if we were small children playing dress-up. I realize that people are happy for us and that the marriage of two people past 70 is unexpected and startling in a pleasant way. But cute? Would anyone call an impending marriage of two 35-year-olds cute? Am I being over-sensitive about ageism?Congratulations. I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive, per se. But I think people tend to lump a lot of love relationships into the cute category. It can be shorthand for something unexpected but lovely. I’ve heard people use it to talk about teenagers in love, coworkers, seniors and long-lost friends. That said, thinking it’s unexpected to find love past 70 is ageist.

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