Joe Nguyen is a digital strategist for The Denver Post. Previously he was the online prep sports editor. Prior to that, he covered Adams County and Aurora in the YourHub section. He has previously covered Colorado’s Asian-American communities as editor for Asian Avenue magazine and AsiaXpress.com.
My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years and enjoy each other’s company. As many couples, after many years there are certain things that we do that get on each other’s nerves. He has always been a neat and organized person, and I have always been a bit messy. My closet is usually messy, and I forget to put things in their place, so he usually reminds me. I am autistic , have ADD and, at this point of my life, menopause.
He may have gotten it in his head that you’re doing these things on purpose or that you could snap your fingers and change. The sooner he accepts reality, the easier it will be for both of you to find solutions that meet both of your needs. So, you don’t have anything to lose by advocating for yourself. I know it’s easier said than done but ask yourself if an environment where people will get mad at you for pushing back on condescension is one that actually supports you. There are ways of building trust, support and better communication. I find that holiday dinners are usually not the best places to get into the nitty-gritty, but it’s never a bad time to set a boundary. Your husband and son can also back you up on this.
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