In today's Asking Eric column, R. Eric Thomas responds to someone who isn't sure how to divide an inheritance after the death of a relative.
In today's Asking Eric column, R. Eric Thomas responds to someone who isn't sure how to divide an inheritance after the death of a relative. My wife and I will soon receive a small inheritance from the death of one of my relatives.
Since we do not need most of this money, we have decided to distribute it among our children and grandchildren. Here is the problem: my son’s wife had a daughter years before she married my son. We see this person about two or three times a year. In your opinion, is she entitled to receive the same amount of money from this inheritance as my other grandchildren? Also, is she considered to be a step-grandchild?No one is entitled to the money, no matter their relationship with you and your wife. The money is yours to do with as you please and so you ought to consider where and with whom it can do the most good. Also consider how the dynamic within the family would change if you chose not to give your step-granddaughter any money. If you’re just looking for the best way to distribute the funds and wondering if you have to include her equally, the answer is no, you don’t. But it seems needlessly complicated to calculate how much a step-relationship is worth in comparison to a blood relationship. Plus, it introduces a hurtful hierarchy. This ties into the second question. Every family defines the terms and contours of their relationships. So, in some families, a connection of this type might just be considered another grandchild. It’s really up to you and to her. If you desire to have a closer relationship with your son’s wife’s daughter, you should pursue that separately from the inheritance. As I like to say, money talks but it mumbles, so it’s better to say what we feel and what we’re trying to communicate directly.R. Eric Thomas is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His memoir, Here for It, or How to Save Your Soul in America, which Lin-Manuel Miranda hailed as “pop culture-obsessed,...
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