Joe Nguyen is a digital strategist for The Denver Post. Previously he was the online prep sports editor. Prior to that, he covered Adams County and Aurora in the YourHub section. He has previously covered Colorado’s Asian-American communities as editor for Asian Avenue magazine and AsiaXpress.com.
I’ve been friends with “Steven” for 40 years. We’ve dabbled in romance a few times when we were both single, but we always return to the platonic comfort zone. We live in separate states and haven’t seen each other for 15 years. We talk on the phone about once a month, and I’m satisfied with that.
I’ve mentioned in conversation that I’ve gained a lot of weight and that I walk with a limp, etc. He doesn’t comment on the subject, just keeps trying to get together with me and I keep making excuses. I’m afraid he’s going to just decide to come to visit me so I can’t get out of it.
Regardless of what Steven wants, I want to emphasize how important your comfort and feelings of self-worth are. You may already know this, but it bears repeating that you’re not less valuable as a friend nor as a person because your body looks and functions differently. If you can, please talk to a counselor or support group that focuses on body image and body acceptance.
I explained why, though I felt no compunction to go into details. Cards and checks to my children stopped. Years later, I can say that things have worked out financially for my husband and me, but would I do the same thing today? Yes! After all these years, I still hear the occasional innuendo or “whisper” from family about cards never received, remarks that can be meant only to hurt and shame. To me, this shows a stunning lack of understanding.
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