Joe Nguyen is a digital strategist for The Denver Post. Previously he was the online prep sports editor. Prior to that, he covered Adams County and Aurora in the YourHub section. He has previously covered Colorado’s Asian-American communities as editor for Asian Avenue magazine and AsiaXpress.com.
The last four years of my father’s life, I was a near constant caregiver. I visited him daily, did his lawn work, took him to doctor’s appointments, to the barber, occasionally to dinner or a movie. I always took care of his finances and medications.After he died about a year ago, I have been overcome with guilt. There were times when his constant needs overtook my life. I had no social outlet of my own. I didn’t even travel because I was so concerned about what would happen if I was gone.
With time, try to offer yourself forgiveness. Because it sounds like, even with the moments of frustration or fatigue, your father didn’t see you as a bad son. When faced with the uncontrollable — the illness of loved ones, our inability to stop death — we often hyperfocus on what we think we can control. But, by your own account, you did the best you could, and your father’s quality of life was better because of it.
So, I am thinking about my end-of-life plans. I don’t have any serious health problems, but I am not totally healthy. I have two friends who have been here for me for many years. However, I am hesitant to ask one of them to be my power of attorney. If you haven’t already, you may also want to talk with a lawyer about what the responsibilities of power of attorney might look like in your case. From your letter, it doesn’t seem like you need a POA at the moment, so this would be more of a hypothetical or preliminary conversation. Thinking through the specifics of what you’re asking may make it easier.Renck: Broncos quarterback Bo Nix does not curse.
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