Awful though she is, I don’t want to be consumed by guilt for ignoring her in her last days.
My friends and family say that I don’t owe her anything, but she’s my mother, she gave birth to me and although she’s never done anything for me it doesn’t seem to matter.I also recognize that she will die soon, and I don’t want to be eaten up by guilt for not helping her.I agree with your friends and family that you do not owe your birth mother anything – or much of anything.Do not give into your mother’s manipulations. Do let this episode guide you toward your own higher purpose.
The facility where your birth mother is currently residing likely has a social worker on staff. This person could review your mother’s situation with you and discuss her options. If you are willing to talk to your mother, you could review what options she may have with her. One sister was left in charge of his estate. Unfortunately, she recently lost her husband after a long illness, and has been grieving.How should I approach her to talk about the affairs of the house without causing an issue during her time of grief?You might ask your sister if dealing with your father’s estate is a burden for her, and if so you could offer to support her more in sorting through the various details and legal aspects of dealing with this property.
I suggest that you speak to your sister gently and compassionately, while also being brave enough to express your concerns about the house: “I’d like to talk about Dad’s estate. Would you like to set up a specific time for the three of us to talk?”
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