Dear Amy: “Randall,” who went to school with my boyfriend, recently passed away.
My boyfriend and Randall were not particularly close and had not spoken in several years, but Randall left a wife and child behind.In some sense, I feel angry that his daughter is now forced to grow up without a father, due to his attitude regarding the vaccine. I also feel sorry that his wife now has to raise her child alone and is suffering the loss of the love of her life.If his death could have been prevented, should I still send my regards?Many deaths can be prevented.
Digressing a bit from your dilemma, I have been personally troubled by a measure of what I can only describe as “gloating” when people who identify as anti-vaxxers have died from COVID. Sympathy cards acknowledge that a loss has taken place and express a hope that the survivors will find comfort. It seems easy enough to send a card, even if you are conflicted about the person who died. It is a basic kindness, but if you think this gesture renders you a hypocrite, then don’t do it.In his Facebook message, he asked if he could call. I said yes, he called me, and we had a very nice long chat.
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