Dear Amy: I am a people pleaser, volunteering at a nonprofit that helps Afghan refugee women. We provide fabric and a space with sewing machines where they can come and work. Lately, these women ar…
Was I wrong to call her? Or am I wrong to feel guilty?People often ask if they are “wrong” to feel a particular way. And my answer is always the same: Your feelings are your feelings. They are neither right nor wrong. They simply are. Your job is to let your feelings guide you toward understanding and change.
Your initial choices prevented you — and the organization you support — from receiving a justified compensation. I suggest that your chronic undercharging is more a reflection of your confidence in the worth of your work than your desire to please.If you don’t set your price and state it clearly before doing the work, then you leave it up to the buyer to guess a fair compensation — or to gently rip you off.I hope you will take this episode as an opportunity to adjust your business model.Over the years my brother and I have stopped communicating. He is toxic, bossy and creates problems among family members.
I would want to do the right thing by my nephew by supporting him, but I also wouldn’t want to create any problems within my brother’s family. I and my other siblings and all our children all remain on good terms with family gatherings and communications. I believe I am the only one that attempts to stay in touch with my nephew.Unless you strongly suspect that your presence would make things harder for your brother’s family and other survivors, then yes — you should attend his funeral. Be discreet, express your condolences, and do your best to read the room.
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