Dear Amy: In the past her advice was helpful, but in recent years, it has become more intrusive. A number of times I have started a conversation by saying, 'I just want to tell you about this. No advice about it is needed, please.'
Dear Amy: I have been friends with “Susan” for over 35 years. I have shared many extremely sensitive and delicate problems with her.In the past her advice was helpful, but in recent years, it has become more intrusive. A number of times I have started a conversation by saying, “I just want to tell you about this. No advice about it is needed, please.”AdvertisementI purchased a new house and over a period of six to seven months I didn’t tell her.
Dear Wanting: Hearing advice feels worse than someone merely expressing an opinion different from your own, because when someone offers advice, they are actually telling you what to do. And if this advice is unsolicited, they are assuming that you need it, perhaps because your own judgment is flawed.However, you don’t mention ever discussing this with “Susan.” Your passivity has contributed to the problem.
If Susan is so locked into her habit – or so dense – that she responds to this statement by offering advice, you could interrupt her: “Oops, there – you’re doing it. That’s exactly what has been bothering me so much.” We politely nod and smile, asking a harmless question or two, while waiting for the conversation to end.
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