Dear Amy: I’m 50 years old now, and I have had difficulty with intimacy my whole adult life.
Dear Amy: My parents divorced when I was seven, after my mother had an affair with one of my father’s employees.
She screamed at me and said that I am “too sensitive,” and that I was never sexually abused because her boyfriend never actually touched me.My mother blames me for turning her life upside down because I tried to hurt myself when I was 10 because I felt so terrible and dirty.My family claims that this was not abuse because he didn’t rape me.Amy, I have felt useless and dirty since I was 10 years old.
Yes, you were abused. Your mother’s husband attempted to groom you throughout your childhood. Exposing himself and performing a sex act in front of you is a crime. Your abuser robbed you of your self-esteem. Survivors of sexual abuse often struggle with trust and intimacy. This response is a natural reaction of you continuing to protect yourself, the way you had to do all during childhood.offers many valuable services to abuse survivors, including a 24/7 online “chat” line where you can contact a counselor.
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