How does this letter writer grieve her boyfriend after she learned he lived a double life?
I was with my boyfriend for four years. We lived together the entire time. He was my soul mate and stepped in to be the dad for my kids. I thought that everything was amazing and that he was my partner in life.He died two weeks ago. Because we were not married, I could not be the person to make the arrangements. His mother’s family immediately started blocking me from any involvement in the funeral. He was always protective of his phone and kept it locked.
Well, after his death I had to access his phone in hopes of locating a will, wishes or anything to support getting him put to rest. I did not find any of that, but I did find intimate conversations that he had with multiple women that were very sexual in nature. I am talking about pictures, Facebook Messenger and phone calls spanning the ENTIRE time we were together. I now feel devastated and disrespected.
My instinct is that even though you say you were looking for a will on his phone, you might have been looking for pretty much what you found. And now, you must deal with your children in the very best way you can, allowing them to love and mourn this man without focusing on your own anger or his betrayal.Keep busy tying up the loose ends of this loss, find new housing if you need to, and reestablish yourself with friends and family.
The primary reasons are: 1) We do not drink but the others do, 2) Our interests do not coincide , 3) The other parents are considerably more “free spending” than we are, 4) The weather in Paris in March is iffy at best, and 5) Our financial resources are not unlimited, and my selfish self would prefer spending our travel money on something different.
However, this is your stepson. One way to be part of a happyish blended family is to be a good sport and occasionally do things you do not want to do. But if you cannot have a good time in Paris, even in March, then you do not really deserve to go.” signed “MOB” really got to me. It sounded as if she had conditioned her daughter to be with a controlling person. Now that the daughter was about to marry someone as controlling as her mother is, it was a huge problem.© 2023 by Amy Dickinson.
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