DEAR AMY: 'I am not in love anymore. He isn’t open to... getting help from mental health professionals. If he’s always been good to me, is it wrong to break up with him just because I can’t put up with his ongoing depression and negative attitude?'
I have been with my boyfriend for five years. He always plays the victim – the world is out to get him and it’s everyone else’s fault. He is depressed, anxious, constantly negative, and constantly complaining.
I am not in love anymore. He isn’t open to changing his attitude or getting help from mental health professionals. Not “believing” in therapy to address trauma is akin to not believing in antibiotics to treat a raging infection. Therapy is not a faith practice; it is treatment. It is wound care for a deeply hurt psyche.
You might ask yourself: Is your presence helping him to heal? Are things improving for him? For you? Or is your co-dependent relationship keeping you both stuck in place?When I read your column it seems that there are a lot of people who are going through divorce after 40 or more years together.I have been in a wonderful relationship for the past four years and we talk about marriage when I’m done with school.
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