Dear Amy: How can I get my bully out of my life without becoming the bad person?
Thank you for supporting our journalism. This article is available exclusively for our subscribers, who help fund our work at the Chicago Tribune.We were treated as one person growing up and were expected to share everything. I believe our relationship was extremely unbalanced because I did all of the sharing, and Janet, the taking.Janet grew up to be arrogant and thoughtless. She always felt she was the most beautiful person in the room.
I helped Janet through her multiple divorces, did her homework in college, helped her find a career and always invited her to join me on vacation. She never reciprocated. You have adopted the idea that a victim speaking out represents some sort of betrayal to the family system that created and supported this dynamic.
One of her sons was in my class in our small high school. She was extremely active in our church, and as her health started failing, we did what we could to visit with her and be helpful to her family.
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