Dear Amy: I have been married to my husband for more than 30 years. Our relationship is loving, but challenging.
I suggested that he drive locally, and I drive on highways.
He is unwilling to make this change, so I’ve been going to the city with friends for the past several months – still agreeing to ride as a passenger with him when we’re in town.I have no other anxiety or fear issues.Your husband’s career of dangerous driving, speeding and tailgating is more likely to lead to an accident as he ages and his reaction time slows.
I doubt that he would allow a neutral person to assess his driving, but the AARP does offer an online driving course ; I assume that successfully passing this course could lower insurance rates, in addition to coaching your husband toward safer driving.Your body’s extreme anxiety response is a distinct signal telling you what you need to do. This is your “fight or flight” response in high gear.
I suggest that you buy, borrow or rent a second car — or use other transportation — when you and he are traveling a far distance, so that you can safely arrive at your destination and see your husband there when you arrive.Please, seek therapy for yourself, both to manage your anxiety and to discuss your response to your husband’s rigidity and lack of respect.We talked about getting married when our respective children graduated from high school. That was 10 years ago.
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