Dear Amy: He knows nearly everything about me. The last thing – the thing he doesn’t know – is my protected secret.
Dear Amy: I am in the most loving relationship with the man I want to marry. We talk about marriage often.
My own take is that you might start by reframing – to yourself – the language you are using to describe your rape. You think of it as a “deep dark secret.” It is something you are hiding. This is going to sound pedestrian, but I am a firm believer in practicing as a way to prepare yourself for a challenging experience or conversation.Choose a time and space where you feel comfortable and where neither of you will be distracted.
Remember this: So many survivors stand alongside you. I hope you can picture an army of supportive survivor-warriors who all have your back. I’m not sure how to get that across without being rude. My attempts at reconsideration have fallen on deaf ears. In their minds, it is clearly innocent and meant as a joke.
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