If not, you should do so now, through a genuine inventory, detailing specific episodes you now regret, and asking these family members to tell you whatever is on their hearts, and hopefully to embark on their own path toward forgiveness, writes Amy Dickinson.
Dear Amy: Four years ago, my daughter and son-in-law cut off all contact with me. I am a recovering alcoholic, but I relapsed and moved in with my sister. She and I got into a fight, so I moved out, but I didn’t have anywhere to go so I asked my daughter if I could stay with her and her husband until I found a place. They let me stay with them, but were angry about it. After two weeks with them I moved back in with my sister, which was a mistake.
Nice folks have expressed their “condolences.” For some reason, I am not comfortable with this term . I would prefer that they instead tell me that they are sorry that this has happened, or say nothing and just give me a soft look of understanding. Somehow the word “condolences” sounds too pat – too overused – as if folks want to get this over with as soon as possible.
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