Dear Amy: A dear friend has a husband who is an alcoholic. During any kind of get together he is loud, belligerent and on occasion becomes incapacitated and has to be carried out.
Before my friend and her husband moved six hours away, our group of about 20 could tolerate him because they would get in the car and go home.My husband and I have reached the end of our patience and want to limit our contact with him, which means they would stay one night instead of five.My friend would be crushed to learn how we feel. Our relationship would be over. I would also be crushed to lose her as a friend.
Her husband has ruined many of her past friendships due to his drinking and I don’t want our friendship to be another casualty. Can you think of a way for us to be honest and still retain this friendship?Dear Dilemma: Your friend’s husband has an addiction disorder that, according to you, often has an extreme impact on him, and everyone in his circle.
You should also consider not serving any alcohol during get togethers in your home while they are with you.They came to live with her and her husband over a year ago, because they did not have a good situation at their mother’s home.The entire house is a mess, and I spend most of my visiting time cleaning, which means I don’t visit very often.On my last visit, the older girl did not shower for six days.
The girls want to visit me next summer. Frankly, I will not put up with this nonsense and have held off saying yes. How can I help?Dear Frustrated: These teens behave as they do because they are being neglected. And now, because of their behavior, you are considering neglecting them, too.
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