Dear Amy: My college best friend is struggling with infertility and is near the end of the road with multiple rounds of unsuccessful IVF.
I’ve been there to support her through this, even though we live far from each other. My heart aches for her. I have had two children during the course of her fertility struggles. I have taken great pains to break the pregnancies to her gently, privately, and early, but I know it has been difficult for her. I have been as tender as possible in sharing about my family life. . As time has gone on and the medical interventions have ratcheted up, I can feel my friend withdrawing from me.
Ask her to draw the parameters about what she is able to discuss with you; if she insists that she cannot tolerate any mention of your children, it means that you can only discuss the central aspect of her life – and not yours. You can no longer be intimate friends, which is another casualty of her fertility struggle. Dear Amy: A couple of years ago I overheard my sister ask one of her teen grandsons if he had found a girlfriend yet.
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