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She’s getting C’s, and she thinks it’s not fair that we won’t pay anymore.
: My wife and I have two children. From the time they were very young, we made our limits for college very clear:Ask Amy: I keep seeing this man on the trail. What if he’s stalking me?They have to find something meaningful to do aside from their schooling – such as volunteering or a part-time job.
Things that will build up their résumés for the next stage of their lives. We have said that if they don’t satisfy these parameters, we will not pay for their schooling. We will judge this on a semester-to-semester basis. We realize that these are high standards, but as a family, we have high standards. That’s the way it is. Our daughter came home from her first semester at college with B’s and C’s. She has not gotten into trouble, but she has not found any worthwhile outside activities. My wife and I gave her one more semester to get it together, but she recently told us that she is worried that she isn’t able to bring her grades up enough. We told her that a deal is a deal, and if she likes college, she’ll have to satisfy these requirements.If you want your kids to skim their education off of the lowest-hanging offerings at school, then your rigidity about their grades will incentivize them to choose the easiest course of study. And so at the beginning of the semester when they are signing up for classes, they might hedge their bets and skip over biochemistry in favor of Intro to Soccer Appreciation.Scoring high grades doesn’t always equate with longer-term success. Sometimes, we learn the most from experiences which are harder to master.: My husband and I have a very sweet 8-year-old son. His dad and I adore him. We’re having a great time going through life together. Recently he has been emotional and sensitive. He has said several times that he doesn’t want to grow up. When I ask him why, he says he’ll miss all of the things we do together, like reading together before bed and cuddling with us, and doing “little boy things.”: This is a fairly common phase for children at this age, especially for sensitive and expressive kids like your son. Some children going through this phase will ask their parents, “When I grow up, can I marry you?” This reflects their strong and loving attachment. I remember going through this phase as a child, telling my mother that I was never going to move away from home. Heading into adolescence can be a pretty scary prospect. Hormonally, socially and intellectually, your son is sailing into choppy waters, and even if he doesn’t know what’s ahead, on a deep level he understands that change is on the horizon.Listen to his answers and reminisce with him.And then tell him that none of these good experiences will end or change unless he wants them to, and that your family will share lots of other wonderful experiences together as he grows older. If your reassurance doesn’t comfort him, or if his anxiety seems to expand, you should consider having him evaluated by a psychologist.Harriette Cole: Should I step back and let this girl use my nerdy friend? My dad and stepmom used a sperm donor 36 years ago to bring one of my absolute favorite people into the world. It was a shock when I found out that we weren’t related by blood, but he is 100 percent the brother I love!You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.Miss Manners: My mom's SUV is like a dog whistle to my boyfriendMillions of bizarre, blue sea creatures wash up on Northern California shoresMiss Manners: After her disrespectful question, I don't want to see her ever againBrothers tried to fight off mountain lion during fatal attack in Northern California, family saysDear Abby: I'm a beautiful woman, and it's the first time I've dated below my league ‘This is heinous, heinous conduct’: Feds say Chicago-area dog show judge deleted child porn evidence in shower during FBI raid
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