Dear Amy: My dearest friend in the world was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at a relatively young age.
Down the road, you can still let your friend know that you love her, even if she doesn’t recognize your voice. If speaking by phone becomes impossible, send cards and postcards, and express your affection and gratitude.
There is no return from this heartbreak, but this is your opportunity to honor your friendship by holding her hand through this part of her journey.They have told me that they will be leaving me money in their will and — although I’m not sure the amount, they seem to be quite prosperous. I am considering asking them for my inheritance ahead of their passing. My experience during the pandemic has given me a very strong desire to travel for several months. I think my grandparents might feel gratified witnessing me enjoying their legacy, but I don’t know how to ask them.There are many factors here which you don’t include. These would be: Your grandparents’ health, future housing and medical needs, and their willingness to be manipulated by an adventure-seeking grandchild. Some of this depends on the culture of your family, and of how these elders have lived their own lives. You need to consider the possibility that watching you enjoy yourself might not be as gratifying to this elderly couple as you think. One or both of your grandparents could live for 20 more years. The amount of your inheritance might shift based on their financial needs now and in the future. At some point, adults who are maturing shift their values away from asking for more and toward giving more. I endorse your plan to seek adventure, but suggest that you line up financing that doesn’t involve your grandparents.“Dreading the Dogs” has a very close friend who always brings her three dogs along when she is a houseguest.When I got my dog, the first thing I did was to line up in-home help and a quality kennel as backup. Dogs and humans have to adjust to this separation, but I believe it’s vital.Have you ever had your question published in the “Ask Amy” column? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Did you accept or reject my advice? Was the issue you wrote about ever resolved? As part of our ongoing conversation about human behavior and its consequences, I’d love to learn how things turned out for you.I welcome the opportunity to be back in touch.
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