My family are surrounded by death and destruction, doing everything they can just to survive. They are not numbers.
A woman mourns as she holds the body of a child killed in Israeli air raids on October 28, 2023, in Khan Yunis, Gaza.This report was published on October 25. Since October 27, Gaza has faced a total communications blackout due to Israeli destruction of communications infrastructure. Gazans abroad, like this author, are currently unable to contact family members.
It has been one year, one month, and seven days since I left Gaza. I clearly remember the moment I realized that this was the first time I was going to experience a war on Gaza far from the barbarity of missiles and body parts strewed everywhere. I did not know it would be the most ferocious war yet, and I did not know that those missiles were less powerful than the hallucinations that would haunt me through the night.
My family lives in the Jabalia refugee camp in the north of Gaza. The enemy’s warnings to leave to the south mattered little to them. My mother said, “How can I leave my house while our relatives are seeking shelter with us? How can I leave it and repeat the mistakes your grandparents made when they fled the 1948 Nakba?” My father told me the same thing, as do my siblings. I told them, “I am ashamed to tell you what to do, I am with you in my heart and in my prayers.
My mother tried to minimize the danger of the situation and pretend they were okay. “What did you have for lunch, darling? How was university today?” I told her that her words wracked me with guilt and pleaded with her to tell me how the rest of the family and our neighbors were doing.
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