Are You Too Responsible?

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Are You Too Responsible?
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Yes, you are. Here's why.

Consider the following: Do you often pay attention to the needs of others but neglect your own? Do you frequently remind others what needs to be done and get annoyed by how irresponsible they seem? Or say “yes” to most things you’re asked to do but then feel resentful? If something goes wrong, do you feel the entire weight of that outcome? If so, these could be signs that you have an overactive sense of responsibility.: We feel competent, reduce our stress, and avoid conflict.

Reframe the release of responsibility and consider that you’re empowering others: By allowing them to struggle with a task, solve their own problem, or own up to a mistake, you help them develop greater competence and confidence.Whether you willingly assumed a given responsibility or it was imposed on you, it’s time to return it to its rightful owner.

Be sure to communicate what you’re doing and why, and collaborate on a transfer plan. For example, you might say: “I recently audited everything on my plate. I’ve been writing the update emails on this initiative, and this responsibility should belong to you. I’d like you to take it over starting next week. What do you need from me to make this a smooth transition?”

Now, draw a circle on your paper and allocate responsibility for the situation to each person or group on your list. Add up those amounts and determine the remaining percentage. The amount left over is a closer approximation of your actual share of responsibility. For example, despite being conservative with his estimates, Alec’s portion of the pie amounted to a paltry 5%.

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