We may think we have a “type,” but we may simply be repeating relationship patterns.
Having a "type" may be less about people and more about recurring relationship patterns.. Maybe they've repeatedly fallen for artists, athletes, intellectuals, bad boys, emotionally unavailable partners, or people who need rescuing.
Sometimes the similarities are obvious. Other times, they are harder to spot. The faces, careers, and personalities may differ, but the emotional dynamic feels strangely familiar. This raises a question: Do we really have a “type,” or do we simply keep repeating relationship patterns?recreate familiar relationship dynamicsFor example, someone who grew up working hard for approval may find themselves repeatedly drawn to partners who are difficult to please.
Another person may consistentlyMaybe that’s why some people seem to date the same person over and over again in different bodies. The pattern is rarely conscious. Few people wake up and decide to seek out relationships that will frustrate them. Yet familiarity has a powerful pull.
Research suggests that humans generally, even when that familiarity is imperfect. The known often feels safer than the unknown. But just because something feels familiar doesn't mean it's good for us. So, here’s the problem: The relationships that feel most exciting or magnetic are not always the ones best suited for long-termPerhaps a better question is this: Are we attracted to particular types of people, or are we attracted to particular kinds of emotional experiences?
The answer might explain why some of us keep ending up in relationships that look different on the surface but feel surprisingly similar. Sometimes what feels like chemistry is really familiarity. And sometimes the healthiest relationships don't feel familiar at all, at least not at first. Brumbaugh, C. C., & Fraley, R. C. .
Transference of attachment patterns: How important relationships influence feelings toward novel people. Eastwick, P. W., Harden, K. P., Shukusky, J. A., Morgan, T. A., & Joel, S. . Consistency and Inconsistency Among Romantic Partners Over Time. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Advance online publication.. Guilford Publications. Montoya, R. M., Horton, R. S., & Kirchner, J. . Is actual similarity necessary for attraction?
A meta-analysis of actual and perceived similarity. Park, Y., & MacDonald, G. . Consistency between individuals' past and current romantic partners' own reports of their personalities. Reis, H. T., Maniaci, M. R., Caprariello, P. A., Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. .
Familiarity does indeed promote attraction in live interaction. Versluys, T. M., Mas-Sandoval, A., Flintham, E. O., & Savolainen, V. . Why do we pick similar mates, or do we?.is a sociologist specializing in intimate sexual relationships, sexual identity and behavior, and gender with a focus on closeted behaviors. Self Tests are all about you.
Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
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