SPOILER ALERT: Do not read if you have not yet watched “American Horror Stories” Season 1, Episode 3, “Drive In,” streaming now on FX on Hulu. After a fun and scary two-part premiere th…
a fun and scary two-part premiere
The next day, Chad’s friend Quinn suggested that he take Kelly to a scary movie because being scared will make her “an oyster ready for shucking,” which — find some better friends, Chad. But Chad, obviously a “Scream” fan, showed his disdain for horror movies with the meta-comment, “Horror films suck now. They’re either low-rent shit to fill up a streaming menu or pretentious crap that puts you to sleep.
The testimony footage was enough to convince Chad to get tickets to “Rabbit Rabbit” for himself and Kelly, while Kelly’s friend Dee advised her to stop being “afraid of the dick” and just go for it with Chad. That would turn out to be very, very good advice. But the movie started and predictably, all hell broke loose at the drive-in. As they watched, the movie-goers’ eyes turned bloodshot, then the pupils expanded to full black and veins popped out along their necks and across their faces. The protester tried to stop the film, but the drive-in owner attacked her with a pair of scissors. Suddenly, it was total chaos down in the lot, as people started attacking each other, and Chad and Kelly tried to drive away.
In the morning, Chad wanted to call the police, but Kelly said no way — the cops would question them all day and they had to stop the second screening before more people died. Kelly found a shotgun, which she hilariously said she could use because her dad’s a Marine like that has anything to do with anything. But they took off, armed with a shotgun and the scissors Chad grabbed out of the protester’s eye socket — which Chad immediately had to use on his friend zombie-Quinn.
Kelly and Chad were understandably disgusted with Bitterman, so Kelly shot him in the knees to get him to tell them where the other copy was. They lit it on fire on the stove and left him there to die.
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