HolaPapi: 'I’m a cool young lesbian in one of the gayest cities in the U.S. and no one has ever been in love with me'
Illustration: Pedro Nekoi I’m a cool young lesbian in one of the gayest cities in the U.S. and no one has ever been in love with me.
No one seems to believe me when I say I could end up alone against my wishes. I’m trying to come to terms with this, but that’s pretty hard to do when my friends and family keep telling me to be patient, or they tell me I must be doing something wrong, or I’m too picky. But I’m not. I just want people to believe me that I’m not. On God!
Moreover, I’m going to believe you because I think I’m the same way. I’ve been reluctant to talk about it in my column , but I haven’t been in an “official relationship” since a girlfriend in high school. I simply haven’t been there with anyone. I know they exist, though, because like you I have gotten to the very edge of them and, like viewing a house no one has moved into yet, can picture myself living and walking around in it. I know what a long term relationship probably feels like, and how I’d likely behave in one.
The melodrama doesn’t quite hold up to scrutiny, because the reality is, UL, I’ve been on plenty of dates. I’ve met plenty of potential romantic partners, and gotten physical with plenty more.
But I’m here too, aching and wanting and hoping and making peace with things, and you know what, UL? I think most people are. I think most people are lonely, even people who are in relationships, even people who have been married for most of their lives. I think loneliness is part of the human condition.
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