Seinfeld is coming to Netflix in 2021. In the meantime, check out our ranking of all 169 episodes
Seinfeld, “The Kiss Hello,” Episode 17. From left to right: Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes, Jerry Seinfeld as himself, Michael Richards as Cosmo Kramer, and Jason Alexander as George Costanza. Photo: Carin Baer/NBC/Getty Images This story was originally published in 2015.
That said, even the worst episode of Seinfeld is better than most of what you’ll currently find on network TV — and now it’s just a Hulu account away. The bingeing is going to be real, and it’s going to be spectacular. 166. “The Jacket” . An episode about sitting around waiting for someone in a hotel lobby, “The Jacket” offers all the thrills of … sitting around waiting for someone in a hotel lobby. Notable only for the following bit of trivia: Lawrence Tierney, who plays Elaine’s cranky father, Alton Benes, attempted to steal a butcher knife from the set and mock-threatened Seinfeld with the very real prop when caught in the act.
162. “The Mango” . Talk of cunnilingus and faking orgasms on a single episode of network TV that aired in 1993 is groundbreaking stuff — but Jerry’s incessant needling of Elaine after she admits she “faked it” during their relationship grows tiresome. Meanwhile, Kramer’s fruit-obsessed subplot feels like a stale reprise of previous episode “The Ex-Girlfriend,” with the aphrodisiac qualities of mangoes standing in for the Mackinaw peaches.
158. “Male Unbonding” . The only episode in the series without the in the title and, arguably of more importance, the introduction of Elaine — even though the episode doesn’t give her much to do. Kramer’s first get-rich-quick scheme — a make-your-own-pizza restaurant — is the highlight of this otherwise-inconsequential early episode.
154. “The Seinfeld Chronicles” . It was tempting to call Seinfeld’s first episode its worst: The pacing is molasses-slow, the dialogue is stiff, and the singular focus on Jerry’s romantic life doesn’t prove very interesting. But the first-ever scene between Jerry and Kramer in the former’s apartment is compelling enough to see why NBC brass decided to take a chance on the show.
150. “The Suicide” . How much is a Drake’s Coffee Cake, anyway? The many battles involving the pastry — who has it, who wants it, and, in a fasting Elaine’s case, whom she has to attack to get a bite of it herself — overshadow the episode’s lackluster main plot, which involves Jerry, a neighbor’s suicide attempt, and the neighbor’s amorous girlfriend.
146. “The Susie” . Who is Susie? “I’m Susie, she’s me,” Elaine tells J. Peterman at the end of this episode — but Peterman doesn’t get it, and neither does the audience. The plot of “The Susie,” a mistaken-identity tale taken four or five steps too far, seems impressive at first, but in the end there are no failures or successes — just confusion.
142. “The Smelly Car” . On one hand: George fretting that he “turned” Susan gay is hilarious in that it further mines his own neurotic bigotry. On the other hand: Suggesting that Kramer can “turn” Susan’s girlfriend straight toes the line of ignorance, especially in hindsight. But Jerry’s car really stinks, and seeing everyone make a gas face when they enter it is funny.
138. “The Wig Master” . The Kramer-as-pimp payoff isn’t worth what precedes it, but it’s funny to see George double-teamed in a domestic situation by both Susan and the wig master staying with them. Is Craig’s ponytail approaching a man-bun? Discuss! 134. “The Truth” . George using “the truth” to break up with a girlfriend makes for a good premise, but in terms of a solid, engaging plot, this episode falls flat. Elaine telling George that he’s cheap is priceless, though, as is the exaggerated physical comedy as Kramer attempts to undress himself in front of Elaine and Jerry after he accidentally sees the former naked.
130. “The Statue” . George’s anecdote about a disastrous “MacArthur Park” lip-syncing session leading to a broken family heirloom provides valuable insight into his hilariously tortured family life. This episode also marks the introduction of Jerry as an obsessive neat freak. 126. “The Opera” . The “Crazy” Joe Davola plotline that runs through the fourth season is mostly and mercifully resolved, but the real gold here is watching George try to scalp opera tickets in an alleyway and Kramer facing his fear of clowns.
122. “The Letter” . The grand unveiling of The Kramer, the painting that has lived on as a dorm-room-poster staple. The drama between Jerry and his girlfriend Nina is meh, but it’s always fun to watch Elaine get in trouble at work. 118. “The Switch” . Cosmo! We finally learn Kramer’s first name and meet his mother. Meanwhile, George’s insensitivity toward his girlfriend’s possible bulimia is funny in its off-color tone, though it’s hard to imagine the gag sitting well with today’s audiences.
114. “The Boyfriend” . The show’s first hour-long arc drags quite a bit. Keith Hernandez’s guest spot feels forced and painful, but the episode has its good moments: specifically, George going to ridiculous lengths to extend his unemployment benefits, and a conspiracy-heavy JFK spoof that digs deeper into Kramer and Newman’s incessant scheming.
110. “The Doll” . There’s great physical comedy in Frank Costanza and Kramer trying to play billiards in George’s old bedroom, but the achievement of this episode is setting up Kathy Griffin’s recurring guest-role as Sally Weaver, Susan’s former roommate, who returns with aplomb in “The Cartoon.” 106. “The Pitch” . A significant episode simply because it introduces Seinfeld’s greatest tragic figure: Susan, whose debut involves being the target of Kramer’s explosive disagreement with some spoiled milk.
102. “The Heart Attack” . Home to one of Larry David’s only on-camera appearances, as well as a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo from career character actor Stephen Tobolowsky. Not the strongest overall episode, but the scene where two paramedics argue about who ate the last of the Chuckles is a subtle suggestion that, in the Seinfeld universe, it isn’t just the main characters who act like assholes.
98. “The Cheever Letters” . The aftermath of Susan’s father’s cabin burning down is, unfortunately, not as funny as when the actual cabin burns down. The surprise twist involving John Cheever is a nice absurdist touch, though, and any episode with Grace Zabriskie, who is a riot as Susan’s mother, is worth watching.
94. “The Sponge” . When it comes to vanity on Seinfeld, does any infraction come close to Jerry adjusting the size number on his jeans from a 32 to a 31? The episode also features the classic Elaine contraceptive plotline that gives the episode its name and coins the pop-cultural catchphrase spongeworthy.
90. “The Pony Remark” . Right before Jerry’s relative Manya passes away, she utters what might be the series’ first eminently quotable line: “I had a pony!” Elaine being forced to sit in a small chair during Manya’s commemorative dinner is a great visual gag, too. 86. “The Puffy Shirt” . Larry David has described this episode, centered around a “low talker” who accidentally convinces Jerry to model the titular shirt on the Today show, as one of his favorites of the series. As the endless complications of Curb Your Enthusiasm’s plotlines prove, “The Puffy Shirt” indeed seems ripped right from David’s brain.
82. “The Fatigues” . Elaine continues to amusingly run Peterman’s company into the ground in the absence of its namesake, and her interactions with the shell-shocked employee Sherman are great. Then Frank Costanza’s PTSD as a cook in the Korean War closes the episode out with fantastic, disastrous bravado.
78. “The Dealership” . Of all of the show’s “KHAN!!” exclamations from George, the one at the climax of this episode might be the best. The conflict between Jerry, Elaine, and Puddy feels like a less-sex-obsessed version of their subplot in “The Fusilli Jerry,” but Kramer taking the concept of a “test drive” to the absolute limit is weirdly exhilarating.
74. “The Little Jerry” . Yeah, yeah, Kramer and Jerry’s adventures in cockfighting with the episode’s namesake rooster are funny in their surreality — but George attempting to date a woman in jail and keep her imprisoned to avoid commitment is some truly evil-genius stuff. 70. “The Caddy” . One simple rule: If the bra doesn’t fit, you must acquit. Sue Ellen aside, George fakes his attendance in the Yankees’ office for so long that the team eventually think he’s dead, thereby torpedoing the promotion that he was lined up to get by faking his own attendance. Classic George.
66. “The Pool Guy” . An impossibly dated episode , though Kramer’s “Why don’t you just tell me the name of the movie you’re trying to see?” bit works — partially because it’s so hilariously implausible, and partially because he has George on the other end of the line. 62. “The Money” . Klompus! Jerry’s elderly nemesis engages in a series of transactions with him that eventually leave Jerry seemingly homeless. As the title suggests, the episode’s all about money — George tries to nab an inheritance by banking on his parents’ imminent deaths and Elaine loses her stock options when Peterman returns — but only the brief time that Morty Seinfeld spends working for Elaine feels creatively bankrupt as a concept.
58. “The Doorman” . Larry Miller’s turn as a surly doorman who makes Jerry’s life a living hell — first by taunting him over alleged classism, then by forcing him to stand in as the doorman to Mr. Pitt’s building—is top-tier guest-spot material. The episode’s true highlight, though, comes in the form of Frank Costanza’s impressive, er, upper body — as Kramer puts it: He has “real hooters.
54. “The Van Buren Boys” . Is Jerry’s new girlfriend a “loser”? Is he a bad person for wondering if she’s a “loser”? George attempting to mug Jerry’s parents to impress the Van Buren Boys is the very definition of a “last-ditch effort,” and it goes over as expected with the VBBs . 50. “The Maid” . It’s Elaine’s turn to sink to a new, horrifying low — in this case, by pretending to die over the phone when a persistent child keeps dialing her number thinking that he’s calling his deceased nana. Possibly the best Kruger-era episode for George , too.
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