America’s Finest News Source
MATTOON, IL—Soon after the 28-year-old leapt off the lid of a dumpster and sprained his ankle Tuesday night, friends of area man Jesse Willard unjustly placed the blame for his questionable behavior on alcohol, sources confirmed.
“Man, that guy turns into such a moron when he gets a few beers in him,” said Sean Taggart, 29, unfairly accusing the chemical ethanol of being responsible for Willard’s lack of foresight and poor decision-making, traits that are in fact fundamental features of his personality and are equally present when he’s completely sober. “Jesse has a bit of an impulsive and destructive side that comes out as soon as he starts drinking. Every night out at the bar with him always ends like this.” Sources stated that friends have also falsely ascribed Willard’s sudden outbursts of rage, his boorish forwardness with women, and penchant for uttering racial epithets to alcohol, when in actuality he’s just an all-around ass.Britain Ejects Hereditary Nobles From Parliament After 700 YearsFamily Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
FSCJ student aims to honor A.J. Laguerre Jr. through endowed scholarship from PGA Tour, The PlayersA scholarship funded by the PGA Tour and the Players Championship is helping local students pursue technology careers while honoring the memory of a young man killed in a 2023 mass shooting.
Read more »
My Husband Had Symptoms for 30 Years Before Doctors Found a Brain TumorSome medical staff blamed stress or anxiety for his symptoms and didn’t order any further testing. Now we warn others of the signs of an acoustic neuroma.
Read more »
Hegseth vows thorough probe of school strike that Trump blamed on IranDefense Secretary Pete Hegseth said Friday that the U.S. military has opened a comprehensive investigation into last month’s deadly strike on an elementary school in Iran.
Read more »
Woman's alarming cancer symptoms blamed on pregnancy for years before stage 3 diagnosisFox News Channel offers its audiences in-depth news reporting, along with opinion and analysis encompassing the principles of free people, free markets and diversity of thought, as an alternative to the left-of-center offerings of the news marketplace.
Read more »
The Crisis We’re Not Confronting: Alcohol’s Toll on ColoradoWhile Colorado battles against opiod use, it largely overlooks the more deadly toll of alcohol in this state.
Read more »
US Military Investigates Deadly Strike on Iranian SchoolThe U.S. military is investigating a February 28th strike on an all-girls school in Iran, with a preliminary report suggesting U.S. responsibility. The Department of Defense is facing pressure to provide answers, as a senior officer leads the review. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth stated the investigation will be thorough. President Trump initially blamed Iran, then said he was uncertain, and now awaits the Pentagon's findings. Iran's new supreme leader has also commented on the incident. If U.S. fault is confirmed, it could be among the worst incidents of civilian deaths in recent history.
Read more »