After we split, my emotionally absent ex became Dad of the Year 🙄
to bring our daughter home from a fun-filled morning. What started with him picking her up for weekly dance lessons quickly expanded to an impromptu visit to the park and a quick stop at the toy store, followed by ice cream. And though part of me is happy that he’s spending so muchwith our daughter, another part is shocked at how much he has changed since our marriage ended. In the blink of an eye, he went from barely lifting a finger as a parent to donning a cape and calling himself “Superdad.
But that’s not to say that he didn’t have opinions—these were his specialty. If I didn’t get a chance to brush her hair, he’d tell me that people would think we were neglecting her. If we skipped a, we were depriving her of a crucial life skill. If I was sick and too exhausted to sit with her while she fell asleep, then we had screwed up as parents by not making her cry it out as a toddler.
But as my daughter got older, the list kept growing. More and more activities seemed to fall on my shoulders because, well, he decided they were my responsibility. I knew that if I didn’t do them, no one would. And parenting wasn’t the only place where we clashed: In every aspect of our marriage, it seemed that no matter what I did or how hard I tried, it was never good enough.
But somehow that all changed in the year after our marriage ended—it’s as if he became a contestant for Dad of the Year. Now, he takes her on playdates every weekend that she is with him, and he jumps at the chance to take her to appointments. He leaves work early to attend her school events, and they’ve signed up for father-daughter art classes together. He even took her on a trip to Canada’s Wonderland over the Christmas break—just the two of them.
Sometimes I worry that this change won’t last and the “old” him will return. Sometimes he asks me to take her on a Friday night duringweek because he has plans with friends or he texts me to say that he won’t be picking her up tonight after all. Sometimes he doesn’t answer her phone calls. Every time I see that hurt look in her eyes or the slump in her shoulders, I want to yell into his voicemail that he can’t be Father of the Year one day and not the next.
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