Without my son, the High Holidays present me with a dilemma.
All that lives on earth will pass before You like a flock of sheep. ... You will review and number and count, judging each living being, determining the fate of everything in creation, inscribing their destiny.”“Who will live a long life and who will come to an untimely end;
Who will perish by fire and who by water; who by sword and who by beast; who by hunger and who by thirst; who by earthquake and who by plague.”Should I sit in synagogue and listen to this frightful recital knowing that my beautiful, kind and loving son did nothing to deserve his untimely end?Perhaps I could opt out. Stay home reading a novel, or go for a walk in the wild, or
— always a stress-reliever. Yet I have always attended synagogue on the High Holidays, even leading the prayers on some occasions.When the prayer was written, the death of a child, or anyone, from disease was commonplace in ways that many of us could forget until covid-19.
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