After an affair, setting digital boundaries is vital for rebuilding trust and fostering healing.
Many couples struggle to reach agreements for cellphone and computer use after an affair. Setting shared expectations for digital use can be hard to accomplish in any relationship, but post-affair, the need for clear, agreed-upon guidelines is of great importance for the health of a relationship. Unlimited digital use can inhibit opportunities for emotional connection, which may have been a contributing factor to the initiation of the affair.
Helping clients recognize the association between an object, such as a cellphone or laptop, and feelings of pain can be helpful in healing. Educate the person who had the affair to appreciate the triggering effect on their partner when they text in the presence of the partner. If a client is triggered in a session, helping them focus on stabilizing emotions using grounding techniques is an important component of clinical work.
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