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Greetings, comrades! Your El Presidente reviews AEW Collision, where Darby Allin survived Sammy Guevara, Lio Rush leaked goo, and Esteban sipped cucumber water!
Greetings, comrades! Your El Presidente reviews AEW Collision, where Darby Allin survived Sammy Guevara, Lio Rush leaked goo, and Esteban sipped cucumber water! Comrades, AEW Collision opened with Moxley’s Death Riders growling at enemies while Kyle O’Reilly hunted another submission.
Willow Nightingale ruled AEW Collision, Divine Dominion crushed foes, and TayJay reunited like a proper socialist alliance. Lio Rush leaked sinister goo on AEW Collision, shocking comrades and proving the CIA may finally have gone too far. Darby Allin survived Sammy Guevara in an epic AEW Collision main event and marches to MJF with title in hand. Greetings, comrades!
It is I, your beloved El Presidente, reporting to you live from the observation deck of my luxury submarine, which has now surfaced in the warm waters of an undisclosed Caribbean lagoon following last night's broadcast of! Esteban is sunning himself on the deck with a tiny umbrella in his cucumber water, and I am pleased to report that the CIA's torpedoes missed us entirely – probably because Langley was too busy watchingthemselves, as all good comrades should!
Let us dissect the show segment by segment, shall we?has tapped him out twice but insisting he is a changed man. Comrades, I too have been"tapped out" before – most notably by my third wife during our 1991 divorce proceedings – and I assure you, you do come back stronger!all chimed in with their"us against the world" rhetoric, which reminds me of the speeches I give my cabinet every Tuesday before our weekly purge.interfered, because of course he did – capitalist pigs like Taylor never fight fair, comrades!
Briscoe hit the Froggy Bow and then the Jay Driller on Dean for the win. This reminded me of when I returned to my home village in 1996 and personally hit a Froggy Bow off the roof of the post office onto a CIA operative. The villagers still talk about it. Probably.spoke backstage about his frustrations since returning from injury, suggesting that maybe – just maybe – having Moxley in his corner would not be such a bad thing.
Comrades, this is how it starts! First you accept a little help from the local strongman, next thing you know you are wearing matching leather jackets and helping him stage a coup. I know this because I have RECRUITED many people using this exact playbook. Ospreay, my sweet British comrade, please do not fall for it!declared herself ready.
Short, sweet, and to the point – the way I like my executive orders!with the Babe with the Powerbomb to retain the TBS Championship. Velvet brought the fire I predicted in my preview, comrades – it turns out being snubbed from the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament really does light a fire, much like the time I"accidentally" leftoff the guest list for my 60th birthday party. He set my pool house ablaze. We laughed about it later over mojitos!
A video package recapping the long history between two of AEW's Original Four Pillars. Pillars, comrades! In my country, when we say"pillar," we mean it – we have a national monument with four actual pillars, each one named after a different general I had executed in 1989. It is a beautiful tourist attraction.on Wednesday if he retained.
This is the kind of work ethic I demand from my own subordinates, comrades! Allin would make a fine Minister of Recklessness in my cabinet. A backstage brawl between Briscoe and Ciampa spilled into the arena, with Ciampa attempting a Psycho Killer off the top rope through a chair before Orange Cassidy and Kyle O'Reilly made the save. Briscoe then demanded an Anything Goes match.
Anything Goes, comrades! My favorite kind of match, and also my favorite kind of foreign policy.with simultaneous submissions. Bowens is becoming MEAN under Joe's mentorship, comrades, and I love to see it! This is what proper mentorship looks like.
When I mentored a youngin the art of the four-hour televised speech, he too became meaner and more long-winded. A proud moment.. Swerve has gone full villain, comrades, and as a connoisseur of villainy, I approve of his commitment to the bit. Some of my colleaguesthat this was his fight, then promised Swerve that he would no longer be a danger to anyone.
Brodido is a wonderful name, comrades. It sounds like a Caribbean cocktail I would order on my yacht. Esteban prefers his Brodidos shaken, not stirred.called the five-minute clock a"death clock.
" Ominous! I have a death clock in my throne room too, but it only counts down to the next CIA assassination attempt. It is currently at 14 days, which is a new record.in 1:57 with Divine Intervention. Comrades, 1:57 is also approximately how long my last Minister of Tourism lasted before I had him reassigned to"an extended fact-finding mission" in the salt mines..
Four women, one title – this is the only kind of"four-way" I am allowed to mention on this family-friendly socialist blog.said she would stop dreaming and start living. 1,250 days is impressive, comrades, but I have been president-for-life for 14,847 days, and counting. Eat my dust, Athena.cost him his ROH TV Title match.
Then he removed his sunglasses and revealed RED IRISES and LIQUID LEAKING FROM HIS MOUTH. Comrades! What is happening?! Is Lio Rush possessed?
Has he been replaced by a CIA pod person? I demand answers! This was the most intriguing thing on. Davis hitting Close Your Eyes and Count to Three is a move I deeply respect, comrades.
I use it on my political opponents quite literally – I tell them to close their eyes, and they wake up in a different country.reunited as TayJay. Reunions are beautiful, comrades. It reminds me of when I reunited with my long-lost brother in 2011, only to discover he was actually a CIA agent sent to assassinate me. We had a lovely dinner before I had him deported.
Family! , Darby Allin defeated Sammy Guevara to retain the AEW World Championship in his SIXTH defense. Guevara threw everything at him – a ladder dive through a table, a Spanish Fly, TWO GTHs, a frog splash – and Allin kept kicking out like a man possessed. Guevara missed a 630 splash through a table, and Allin hit the Coffin Drop for the win.
Comrades, this was the kind of main event that justifies a three-hour subscription to my luxury submarine's satellite feed! Allin now moves on to defend against Speedball Mike Bailey on Wednesday's special three-hour, comrades. The main event was excellent, the Lio Rush horror movie tease has me hooked, and Divine Dominion continues to terrify everyone in their path. Until next time, this is your El Presidente, signing off from international waters!
Esteban sends his regards. ¡Hasta luego, comrades! As a lucrative side hustle from his job as the duly-elected leader of a socialist dictatorship, His Excellency El Presidente reports on his favorite elements of American pop culture, most notably its highest forms of artistic expression: pro wrestling, comic books, and reality television. Yes, comrades, even international despots are affected by the gig economy.
Unfortunately, since the CIA sabotaged his extremely popular 1-900 hotline, El Presidente has been forced to partner with the capitalist pigs at Bleeding Cool to deliver his message directly to the people. When not dodging extradition requests or international sanctions, he enjoys long walks on the beach with his collection of championship belts and arguing with his own body doubles about booking decisions. Read his latest posts, or die like dogs... the choice is yours! Greetings, comrades!
Your El Presidente reviews AEW Collision, where Darby Allin survived Sammy Guevara, Lio Rush leaked goo, and Esteban sipped cucumber water! Comrades, your El Presidente previews tonight's AEW Collision! Darby Allin defends vs. Sammy Guevara, Willow battles Red Velvet, plus trios action and more! Comrades, your El Presidente reviews WWE SmackDown from Columbia, where Trick Williams celebrated, Gunther earned his title shot, and Cody sent a message!
Comrades, your El Presidente previews tonight's WWE SmackDown, where Gunther may defect, Trick Williams goes home, and Jade Cargill brings the storm! Comrades! Tonight's AEW Dynamite brings Darby vs. Takeshita, Ospreay's return, MJF's precious hair on the line, and the Owen Cup brackets! Viva la revolución!
El Presidente reviews WWE Raw, comrades! Jacob Fatu destroys Roman Reigns, Asuka bids farewell to IYO SKY, and Oba Femi kidnaps Los Garza. Viva la revolución! Greetings, comrades!
Your El Presidente reviews AEW Collision, where Darby Allin survived Sammy Guevara, Lio Rush leaked goo, and Esteban sipped cucumber water! Check out an early look at what's ahead with this Thursday's Season 3 finale of CBS's Carrie Preston-starring Elsbeth, S03E20:"That’s All.
"Jacob Anderson's Louis de Pointe du Lac takes center stage in a new character profile poster for AMC's Anne Rice's The Vampire Lestat. Hal Jordan offers ring action in a promo announcing a new teaser for Aaron Pierre and Kyle Chandler-starring Lanterns hitting on Monday. Butcher promises scorched earth and that"superheroes are done" in the finale trailer for The Boys, S05E08:"Blood and Bone.
"As we wrap up our Season 51 coverage, SNL introduces us to"Hormuz Jeff" in a Cut for Time sketch from the finale, and... Colin Jost bald?!?
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