Advice: When friends meet at a restaurant, is it possible to “politely request” that the parents leave their children at home?
This isn’t a polite-request situation. This is a conversation situation, where you discuss the valid issues that arise when needy, screamy little people join your previously adults-only club.
Your friends prefer to avoid sitter hassles and want to have their friends be part of their children’s lives. Maybe not as best-ever honorary aunties/unclies, though that can happen — but there’s so much possible value: The parents get to model friendship for their kids. The kids get a community and adult presence beyond their parents. The non-kidded friends get some level of inclusion in their parent-friends’ family experience, which, no way around it, is a huge part of them now.
Assuming you even want it. Some would rather lose the friends than rally for their kids, and if that’s you, then you might as well own it. I understand why you’re gutted: Loss is loss, and it’s awful. I’m sorry. Every instance of not being loved back leaves a scar, for me at least.But your anger I don’t understand. You cared! Affirmed life! Took a chance. Be proud of your gutted, stuck self.
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