Advice: Brother and his son are estranged, and a letter-writer loves them both but can’t keep doing this “crazy dance.”
He has now become engaged and is excluding his father from all wedding-related festivities. My brother has offered to do whatever it is his son wants to do to sort this out, such as family therapy, to no avail. Earlier on, my nephew asked his dad to do some things to show he was serious, but when his father met the request, my nephew raised the bar yet again.
Like I said, this can be a small thing — a mental typo on your part — or the biggest possible thing, that one of them has knowingly done harm to the other but, to remain in good standing with the “tightknit” family, isn’t copping to it. So decisions to “side” with one, neither or both of these relatives are worth as honest a reckoning as you can give them using the information you have.
3. When you slip, apologize and move on. If your nephew won’t move on, then so be it. If he has zero tolerance for frailty in the well-intentioned uninvolved humans going out of their way to respect his boundaries, then plug in that information and revisit your solution.
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