Advice | Carolyn Hax: How to help daughter with ‘spoiled’ in-law, enabling spouse

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: How to help daughter with ‘spoiled’ in-law, enabling spouse
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Advice: A mom wants to help her daughter manage an “entitled, spoiled” sister-in-law whom her husband doesn’t want to rein in.

My generous son-in-law often takes them along on family vacations and pays for everything. It has now gotten to the point where they are upset if he and my daughter go without them. Her husband knows his family can be difficult but doesn’t want to deal with it. My daughter says she wants to completely avoid most gatherings with his family. She is fine with him and their child getting together. Is this the best way to deal with this?Or his sister, or the rest of his family.

And maybe it’s just that I’m writing this on a Monday, but I don’t see what is “great” or “generous” about inviting along but refusing to deal with a family he knows is “difficult” in general and specifically unpleasant company for his wife. In other words: Deal with this by encouraging her to approach him about including her, so they handle things like this as a unit. Whew. And so she recognizes, if he refuses, that his refusal is Problem Zero.

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