Her fiance and his mom are extremely close, but this soon-to-be daughter-in-law struggles to admit that she dislikes her.
You tell him what bothers you about her and why; be specific, but not petty. If you don’t know exactly why, try to figure it out before you say anything. And if you’ve tried but all you have is an unexplained gut reaction, then tell him that, too.
In other words, let the fact of your having to tell your fiance — soon — inform the way you tell your fiance. You are keeping a potentially life-changing truth away from the person who’s about to hitch his life to yours. Give him the information he needs, not by dropping a fait accompli in his lap, but by inviting him in on your thoughts in progress: your dislike, your fears of disappointing him, your impulse to protect your privacy, your efforts to honor his mother’s importance to him.
I’m not sure what approach to take with that. On the one hand, I would enjoy seeing her again, but on the other, maybe pretty much always means no. What would you suggest?She “hasn’t really given me a straight answer on it since” pretty much always means that you’ve been asking the question since — and that suggests you’ve asked more than once, since last week. That is a pretty surefire way of forcing a maybe into a no.
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