Carolyn Hax: Girlfriend’s tidiness feels like pressure to keep up
When we were dating, I appreciated how well she cleaned up before I came over. Now I know she’s like that all the time: no clutter, no dust, everything always spotless. After she uses the bathroom or kitchen, she immediately cleans up so well you can’t tell she was even in there. She vacuums and dusts every day, she even wipes her dog’s paws after walks and empties the cat’s litter box after every use.
In a way that’s true, though. I like a place that’s more “lived in.” One of us is outside the norm. It’s her, isn’t it?That’s about a 5- or 6-to-0 ratio of internal dialogue to communication with Gina. Most of it rationalizing everything away before you have to say it, so you can avoid the whole thing.So let’s start at the end and work backward: “I like a place that’s more ‘lived in.’” There you go! Perfectly fair thing to say. And Gina likes a place that’s spotless.
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