Advice: They feel entitled to know if a sibling’s pregnancy resulted from donor sperm because it “amounts to a blurring of our identity.”
It now occurs to us she may have used donor sperm. I can’t think of a good reason the family should not have a right to the truth, but I suspect you probably can.
I would like to add, I’m not impressed with a superior claim to privacy, because we’re talking about a permanent addition to our families, and this amounts to a blurring of our identity. Do close relatives have a right to know who the father is?You’re so right — I can think of a good reason. Because it’s absolutely none of your freaking business. Wow.The identity of a family that judges people for living their own lives on their own terms is one begging to be blurred.
I don’t know if this will help you but you technically don’t know for sure where the sperm came from for any child you’ve ever met. You don’t ask non-IVF parents. What if you just don’t have any people? I never felt like I belonged in my family of origin. I’m married, and feel like I sort of belong with spouse’s family. Even though I have interests and hobbies, I don’t have people.
An old colleague just passed. The amount of people who have come out of the woodwork for him is heartwarming, and yet I’m a little sad because I know if I passed, they wouldn’t for me. From any of my previous jobs, from my hobbies, etc. My family is not a connecting family — when family members have passed, their funerals were sad, poorly attended affairs.
With interests and hobbies already in place, you might need only to put yourself out there a little more.There also isn’t a direct correlation between low turnout and sadness of the affair marking a death. Connection is quality, not quantity, and you can be adored without drawing an out-of-woodwork turnout. And that’s perfectly okay, even preferable, ifokay with it. Not everyone wants or has the energy for a wide friend circle. Good crowds come in all shapes and sizes.
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